My Family
by Dr. Nusakan
Summary: Dib, Gaz, and Membrane think about their relationships with one another. I have a good feeling this kind of thing has been done before, but I just had to write my own version because I had so many ideas for it.
1. Dib

**My Family**

Dib

I almost didn't make it to school today. It was my alarm clock. When I woke up to Gaz pounding on my door and yelling at me to hurry up, I found the clock turned over on its side and the plug disconnected from the wall. I don't know how it happened. All I know is that I came home late last night after trying to break into Zim's, and then I spent at least an hour trying to send some evidence to the Swollen Eyeball (for some reason I couldn't get through, which was odd). But I don't remember knocking the alarm clock over at all.

Anyway, Gaz was not happy about my waking up late. I tried to explain to her why it happened, but she wouldn't hear of it. It was my fault. It's _always_ my fault, whatever it is. Why did she wait so long after realizing that I wasn't up to try punching a hole in my door? Maybe I shouldn't have locked it. Maybe it would have been easier if she just could've come in and shouted me awake from a few inches away rather than making the door suffer. If you look at it closely, you can now see some small dents.

But back to the point. Gaz got me up at the last minute, so I had to skip breakfast and we both had to practically run to school. She couldn't have left without me earlier because Dad insists we go together to avoid any danger. We never run into danger. Well, except for the time when there was construction going on a few blocks away and Gaz fell into a hole that was being drilled in the sidewalk. It was because she was looking at her GameSlave instead of where she was going. I had to help her by pulling her out. We were _really_ late that morning. And Gaz will not admit to this day that it was her fault for falling into that hole. She probably said it had something to do with me.

I really get off the subject, don't I? Heh. Sorry. So, my sister and I go to and from school together each day. Today Gaz grumbled a lot as we were hurrying along, obviously mad at me. I apologized, of course. I usually end up doing that whether I caused the problem or not. I can't be sure that she accepts my apologies. Sometimes she'll tell me flat out that she doesn't, and sometimes she'll just glare and go back to whatever she's doing.

It's not like I hate Gaz for all her gruffness and anger. I think maybe there's something about the rest of the world that gets her ticked off really easily. She always tends to find the bad side of things before the good. And she likes to put the blame on others all the time, particularly on me. I wish I could figure out what makes her like that. Will she ever change, even a little? I mean, we fight like we'd be expected to (and nine times out of ten I lose), but it would be nice to balance the bickering more equally with agreeable conversations. Gaz may be blunt and irritable all the time, but she's not the devil incarnate. I know this because she hasn't actually killed anyone yet.

I remember a few times when she seemed to be halfway to happy. A few. As she got older she could have very well started being happy only at the expense of others, now that I think about it. But either way, I guess her "childhood innocence" wore off very fast. _Why_, though? Why can't I just have a normal sister?

Well, she may not be completely normal, but I try not to let it matter. Gaz is _my_ sister. I have to look out for her, whether she likes it or not, because…because I suppose I care about her. She's family, right? Now if she knew I was saying this, she'd probably try to kill me, which wouldn't be surprising, so I never say anything. I do value my life. But it could be that Gaz already knows but won't admit it to herself. She _is_ kind of stubborn, after all. It just might be. It better be.

I don't think that Dad notices how Gaz is. He doesn't seem to. He probably just sees her as his good little daughter, because she usually behaves herself when he's around (though he _has_ caught her trying to beat the stuffing out of me a couple times. He must have dismissed them as common sibling fights). He doesn't seem to think _she's_ crazy, either, like he thinks I am whenever I say anything about aliens or ghosts or those weird monster-looking claw prints in the backyard. I know he's disappointed because I don't share the same passion for science as he does. But I can't change that! It just doesn't work for me. And I know Dad wants me to take over his laboratories after he's gone, but I really don't know if I will. I'd rather not let him down – it really is nice when he's happy with me, you see – but I just don't know if that's meant to happen.

Dad wasn't at home this morning to hear Gaz beating her fists against my door. Even if he was home, he'd be in the basement anyway, up bright and early with "real science!" Whenever Dad _is_ at home, we're most likely to see him in the morning and/or evening. In the morning he goes to work – which can be either in his home lab or in the one across town – a little while before Gaz and I leave for school. Then he comes back (or upstairs) in the evening – it can range from right after dinner to many hours later. And these are the times when he's in the house at all – a lot of the time he's gone for days, sometimes weeks, traveling around promoting his inventions and meeting with important people, while giving messages to me and Gaz through those hover-screens.

Sometimes I'll think about Dad and his career and wonder if I hate him for not being around as much as he should be. I mean, come on. He's not really a great father, you know? At least he buys us food and everything else we need, but…it's weird not to know your own dad as much as other kids know theirs. It can get frustrating. I can't really remember ever having a good long conversation with him about anything. All that happens is that at rare intervals he'll get guilty and try to make things up to us. I don't really hate him though, despite the times when I think I definitely do – the times when I wonder why the heck he wanted kids in the first place. It can just be hard to love him, I've figured that out. It's now clear to me that he just gets _too_ absorbed in his work and can't handle us at the same time. Ha – maybe he doesn't know how. Wait a second – could that be it? Professor Membrane – Dad – has a natural weakness?...you're kidding.

I still find myself giving him a card on Father's Day every year, though. Gaz does too. It's usually difficult to pin Dad down at a good moment to give them to him, but I try not to give up. Last Father's Day I found him in the basement and reminded him of what day it was. He looked over at a calendar and sort of said, "Oh, so it is," and then I gave him the card I had bought and signed (I used to make the cards by hand, when I was really little. Now I just can't think of what to draw or design on them anymore). He read the card quickly and then placed it in his desk drawer, said "Thank you, son," and gave me a pat on the head. At times like that I wish I could see his whole face, because it sounded like he _just might_ be smiling at me. Maybe. I hope he was. He's not exactly the type to say outright that he loves us…but if he were thinking it…that would be a different story.

It's not like Dad is _mean_ or anything. He can be…hard to approach, I guess. Especially when he's busy. I'm thankful he hasn't actually forgotten us. I don't think he really _forgets_…he just can't seem to divide his time between science and everything else. But, at least Gaz and I are here to give him a family…even if we do make a pretty unconventional one. Even so, I would like to keep Dad in our family. He's all we have.


	2. Gaz

**My Family**

Gaz

Most of the time I despise my life.

I am surrounded by idiots. The only remotely intelligent life forms alive are my dad and the people who created video games. Pigs too, I guess. They're not quite as brainless as people think.

I'll tell you who IS brainless, though. My brother. His name is Dib. Anyone will tell you how crazy and annoying he is. He's obsessed with anything "paranormal" – but as far as I see, he's not even normal himself. His whole life is dedicated to "studying" otherworldly junk. You should see his room. There're posters of chupacabras and the Loch Ness monster and crap on the walls, books and magazines about the supernatural everywhere, cameras and tape recorders for his little pointless field expeditions…It's so stupid. He even tries to get _me_ to help him out. He really thinks he has evidence of all this stuff, but he doesn't. It's all in his head. His big, filled-with-crap head. When we're out in public somewhere and he starts talking about seeing a vampire driving by or something like that, it gets especially embarrassing, and of course maddening.

When he's not running around trying to gather his so-called "evidence", Dib's usually bugging me in some way. All I want to do in the evenings, for example, is be left alone, but he always has to be around me, planning for his next dumb attempt to get proof of whatever. He blocks my view a lot, with his big head, eats all the food that _I_ would have wanted, and he never stops talking to himself. No matter how much I try to shut him up (and he _does_ get scared of me), it never lasts too long. He's too obsessed. He's crazy. And it looks like he'll always be that way. Why can't I have a _normal_ brother (or better, no sibling at all)?

Day in and day out I have to deal with Dib. I don't like it, but I don't have a choice. I can't really complain to Dad, because he's convinced Dib is just going through a very long insane phase. I doubt it. I'll be surprised if Dib ever changes. Once, he almost did drop his weirdo interests for good, which was at first very relieving, but then it became…even _weirder_ because he got all droopy _not_ doing it (a/n: see incomplete IZ episode "Mopiness of Doom"). It was a very strange feeling. Then, when Dib decided to go _back_ to being a paranormal freak, everything went back to normal, but it was a disappointment at the same time. Ugh. If he could just be happy _being_ normal, or being obsessed over something more sensible, then I'd be a little happier too, and I wouldn't have to be known as the sister of "that crazy UFO kid". I probably wouldn't mind him being my brother if he just acted respectable. Pfft. I don't know if I'll live to see that day…

But for now, I just have to wonder what just might make my brother sane. I can never figure it out. Not that I care much, but let's face it – Dib _needs_ me around to knock some sense into him. Even if it only lasts temporarily.

Dad is just as much into actual, earthly science as much as Dib is into "paranormal science", but there's a big difference. Dad works according to legitimate facts. And, he's not embarrassing. Sometimes he gets ideas for inventions that are kind of outrageous, but he doesn't go around telling everybody about them until he completes them and knows they make some sort of sense. Like with Super Toast. For a while, the only people who knew about that idea were me, Dib, and some of Dad's colleagues at work, I guess. Once he completed it and gave logical reasons for it (as logical as you can get for something like _toast_, anyway) then it was somewhat practical. Dib can't do that with all his supernatural claims. So you can see why I don't mind Dad as much as I mind Dib.

Well, maybe there is something about Dad that I mind. It's…sometimes he really doesn't listen very well because he's thinking about his work so much. And sometimes it seems like he moves around really fast, in a blur. I don't know. He's not around very often – he works like crazy a lot because he's this big hero to the human race. Trying to make the earth a better place or something. As if that wasn't enough, Dad also hosts his own T.V. show where he can explain science to anyone who wants to know about it. Every once in a while I see an episode for a few seconds when I'm channel-surfing, but to me, it's not the greatest show on the air. Not interesting enough. Besides, I live with the professor himself – I've heard enough in person about how wonderful science is. My brother doesn't pay much attention to Dad's show either. Actually, the only shows he ever looks at are that stupid "Mysterious Mysteries" with all its pathetic "supernatural" stuff, and occasionally the local news. Which brings us back to the fact that Dib is not normal.

But anyway, more about Dad. He's really busy most of the time, like I said, but at least he trusts us to watch the house when he's gone (we each have a copy of the house key), and to clean up after ourselves and get to bed at a decent time (though Dib usually stays up late doing "paranormal studies" in his room). I guess he doesn't worry too much about us getting hurt at home because the house has a hard-wire security system that automatically activates at a certain time each evening. It's nice that Dad treats us responsibly (maybe me a little more). All in all, I don't mind Dad much. I only wish he wasn't so famous sometimes; that maybe he'd have more time to talk to us about stuff. Stuff that's not always related to science.

Dad had, in a way, always seemed like the answer to everything. I remember, when we were little, he'd fix anything that broke that Dib and I would bring to him, and he always had the right answer to any question. He was perfect; invincible. I guess everyone sees their parents that way when they're really young at some time, but our dad was even better. But now, I see him that way less, because I've recognized the point where he isn't so great – that is, it seems he tries to be _too_ much of a hero to the world, and forgets almost everything else.

He was already enough of a hero to us.


	3. Professor Membrane

**My Family**

Professor Membrane

Life is active and demanding. There can be no doubt about that, especially when one wants to use his or her knowledge to benefit humanity in as many ways as possible. That is the position I am in. I am a scientist (also the host of my science-themed television show and a minor puppet-builder), and what I do is complex, but since it comes easily to me, I take pleasure in it, and thus it has become a way of life. The idea is, when a person does not mind his work, no matter how challenging it may be, it becomes enjoyable. A very simple principle, really. And because I spend most of the time working for the sake of science, I am more often in the laboratory than anywhere else.

My son complained about this once. He told me I spend too much time focused on my scientific duties, and that I like being busy too much. I made an attempt to explain the situation to him; that I do what I do to help improve the world and benefit its people, and that yes, it does require a lot of time and energy. My son, Dib, looked somewhat disappointed at this. But what can I do? It can't be helped. I'm sure he and my daughter, Gaz, know by now how much my profession means to me. Neither of them seem terribly interested in it, though.

The boy, Dib, sadly enough, has an interest in what is termed the "paranormal". He's a smart kid, he really is, but yet he chooses to waste his mind on trying to prove the existence of supernatural phenomena, which is generally impossible to do. He learned very early on that actual science and "paranormal science" are very different concepts. He still comes to me with photographs and recordings of his findings, but as far as I can tell, none of it holds any credibility. There is always a scientific explanation in the end, so I constantly try to encourage him to start studying _real_ science instead. I know he has the brains for it (I made sure of that); I've seen him try out science and not make the slightest mistake in conducting experiments or making calculations. But my son just doesn't seem to care much for following in my footsteps. It pains me. I can only hope that this will all one day change; that he will stop choosing to act insane and come to his senses, and drop the ridiculous nonsense he loves so much. When will he finally see that it's all an illusion?

I can't say that Gaz, my daughter, is very interested in science either. She's different from her brother, however. She occupies herself not with anything as strange as he does, but instead seems to like playing video games. When I see her sitting around the living room, that's usually what she's engaged in. I don't think I have to worry about it, though – at least video games keep her out of trouble. I think she's also into the horror genre, judging from the skull-shaped pendant she wears and her vampire-themed games. Occasionally she'll get angry at her brother for one reason or another, and try to throttle him out of spite as his sibling, so I try to prevent that when I see it about to occur. Other than that, my daughter is a well-behaved child. I'm not saying my son isn't, but there's always a good chance that his embarrassing hobby will make things get crazy.

I am thankful, though, that at least the earliest days of raising those two have passed. Those were busy and sometimes stressful times – keeping them out of trouble, disciplining them when necessary, changing diapers, feeding, bathing, and dressing them, putting them to bed, quieting their crying…and all the rest. I don't know how I did it all myself. It was not easy; there were some days when I wanted to sit down and weep from exhaustion. I had to remind myself that it was all going to be worth it – that it _was _worth it. I'm the one who had wanted them, and here they were, Son and Daughter.

There were good times, of course – their innocent smiles, laughs, and calls of "Daddy!"; watching them learn to walk and talk. Gaz looked so sweet with those bows I'd put in her hair. Oh yes, Dib for some reason had an unusually large head as an infant. It still is large, but back then it seemed even more so. Nobody understood it. I'm not quite sure who or what he got it from, but when I really thought about it, it got quite bothersome. He also ended up needing glasses right away, I found out. Anyhow, during those few years I couldn't do very much related to science. I was too tired to concentrate on it for long at the chances I was able to get into the lab in the basement.

It seemed best to teach the kids to be independent early on, and I am proud to say that at even at their young ages, they have grown responsible for themselves and for the house and its possessions in my frequent absence. I've been able to get back to work while still providing them with food; nearly everything else they need, clothes and such, they buy on their own with money from me. They're well on their way to being functional adults – well, Dib will be as soon as he quits his paranormal obsession. I am still able to contact the two of them through live or recorded video feed when they're at home and I'm not, and I also arranged for all of us to go out for dinner at least once a year as a family. My schedule only allows me limited spare time, you see. The kids appear to understand this, and rarely bring up the subject anymore.

I think of myself as a fairly good father. I may not be around them every day, but that's life. I'm a busy person. They have accepted that. Sometimes I only wonder if they know, or believe, that I love them. Thinking about that one day led me to setting up the "love insurance" video recording (a/n: see episode "Dibship Rising"), which the kids have to respond to at intervals. I'm not sure how effective the system really is – I haven't seen just how enthusiastic they are when responding or how they receive my end of the message – but I had to do something to remind them. I may look further into this issue.

I suppose every parent wonders about the matter of love connected with his or her children. Ah, if only there was enough time to find out what the case is with my own! There's hardly enough time I can divide equally between the components of my life at this point. It's almost a startling change to come home after many days of being addressed as "professor", "sir", and "Boss", and hear my son or daughter say "Dad". It's a change, but not an unwelcome one. As well as being Professor Membrane, that's my other status. I'm a dad.


End file.
